{"id":5243,"date":"2015-02-04T20:00:47","date_gmt":"2015-02-04T18:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/?p=5243"},"modified":"2015-02-02T15:09:37","modified_gmt":"2015-02-02T13:09:37","slug":"anekdotes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/?p=5243","title":{"rendered":"Anekdotes"},"content":{"rendered":"

Kad NASA s\u0101ka astronautus s\u016bt\u012bt kosmos\u0101, dr\u012bz vien atkl\u0101j\u0101s, ka parast\u0101s pildspalvas bezsvara st\u0101vokl\u012b neraksta. Lai p\u0101rvar\u0113tu probl\u0113mu, NASA nol\u012bga zin\u0101tnieku un in\u017eenieru komandu, kas desmit gados rad\u012bja pildspalvu, kas raksta bezsvara telp\u0101 uz jebkuras virsmas, ieskaitot stiklu, un gandr\u012bz jebkur\u0101 temperat\u016br\u0101, l\u012bdz pat 300 gr\u0101du karstumam. Krievija taj\u0101 pa\u0161\u0101 laik\u0101 ar probl\u0113mu c\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s cit\u0101di: iedodot astronautiem l\u012bdzi z\u012bmu\u013cus.
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\nMans psihologs apgalvo, ka esmu aps\u0113sts ar atrieb\u012bbu. To m\u0113s v\u0113l redz\u0113sim.
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\nKad redzu, ka p\u0101r\u012b\u0161i iegrebu\u0161i savus inici\u0101\u013cus kokos vai alu sien\u0101s, man tas nemaz ne\u0161\u0137iet romantiski. Dr\u012bz\u0101k aizdom\u0101jos, k\u0101d\u0113\u013c gan tik daudzi uz randi\u0146u \u0146em l\u012bdzi nazi.
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\nV\u012brs, skatoties video: \u201cN\u0113, n\u0113, nedari to! Zv\u0113ru, tu to no\u017e\u0113losi visu atliku\u0161o dz\u012bvi! Tikai nesaki j\u0101! Tikai nepiekr\u012bti! N\u0113\u0113! Sasod\u012bts, un vi\u0146\u0161 tom\u0113r pateica j\u0101! K\u0101ds idiots!\u201d
\nSieva: \u201cM\u012b\u013cais, ko tu tur skaties?\u201d
\nV\u012brs: \u201cM\u016bsu k\u0101zu ceremonijas ierakstu.\u201d
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\nReiz\u0113m, kad man ir garlaic\u012bgi, es telefon\u0101 uz labu laimi ievadu ciparus un nos\u016btu \u012bszi\u0146u: \u201cL\u012b\u0137i nupat nosl\u0113pu, ko t\u0101l\u0101k?!\u201d
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\nDivas blond\u012bnes iekr\u012bt bedr\u0113. Viena saka: \u201cKlau, te nu gan ir tum\u0161s, ne?\u201d Otra atbild: \u201cGr\u016bti pateikt, nevaru saredz\u0113t.\u201d
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\nCe\u013cu policiste blond\u012bne uz \u0161osejas aptur k\u0101du ma\u0161\u012bnu. Izr\u0101d\u0101s, ar\u012b taj\u0101 s\u0113\u017e blond\u012bne. \u201cUzr\u0101diet, l\u016bdzu, autovad\u012bt\u0101ja apliec\u012bbu,\u201d policiste l\u016bdz. Blond\u012bne vair\u0101kas min\u016btes rak\u0146\u0101jas pa somi\u0146u, nevar atrast un izmisusi prasa: \u201cK\u0101da t\u0101 apliec\u012bba izskat\u012bj\u0101s?\u201d Blond\u0101 ce\u013cu policiste, nedaudz samulsusi, atbild: \u201cNu, tas ir t\u0101ds k\u0101 taisnst\u016bris, uz kura ir tava seja.\u201d Blond\u012bne turpina rak\u0146\u0101ties pa somu, p\u0113c br\u012b\u017ea iesaucas: \u201cAtradu!\u201d Izvelk no somi\u0146as taisnst\u016brveida spogul\u012bti un pasniedz to ce\u013cu policistei, kura izbr\u012bn\u012bta spogul\u012bti nop\u0113ta un atbild: \u201cEs nezin\u0101ju, ka tu ar\u012b esi ce\u013cu policiste!\u201d
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\n\u0160or\u012bt internet\u0101 izlas\u012bju, ka 4 153 237 cilv\u0113ki aizvad\u012btaj\u0101 gad\u0101 apprec\u0113ju\u0161ies. Negribu izrais\u012bt liekas probl\u0113mas, bet vai tam gad\u012bjum\u0101 neb\u016btu j\u0101b\u016bt p\u0101ra skaitlim?
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\nVakar \u0113du pusdienas kop\u0101 ar savu lab\u0101ko draugu, kaisl\u012bgu \u0161aha sp\u0113l\u0113t\u0101ju. Uzkl\u0101tais galdauts bija melns ar balt\u0101m r\u016bt\u012bm. K\u0101 par nelaimi \u2013 jo s\u0101ls trauci\u0146a pado\u0161ana \u0161\u0101 iemesla d\u0113\u013c vi\u0146am pras\u012bja tr\u012bs stundas.
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\n\u201cSveiki! Paldies, ka esat piezvan\u012bjis psihisk\u0101s apr\u016bpes karstajai l\u012bnijai. Ja jums \u0161\u0137iet, ka jums ir vair\u0101kas person\u012bbas, nospiediet 3, 4, 5 un 6. Ja jums ir \u0161izofr\u0113nija, klausieties uzman\u012bgi un klusa balss jums pateiks, kur\u0161 cipars j\u0101spie\u017e. Ja jums ir paranoja, nespiediet neko un nenolieciet klausuli, lai m\u0113s varam noteikt j\u016bsu atra\u0161an\u0101s vietu. Ja jums ir \u012bstermi\u0146a atmi\u0146a, l\u016bdzu, nospiediet 9. Ja jums ir \u012bstermi\u0146a atmi\u0146a, l\u016bdzu, nospiediet 9. Ja jums ir \u012bstermi\u0146a atmi\u0146a, l\u016bdzu, nospiediet 9\u2026\u201d
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\nSieviete ar mazuli iek\u0101pj autobus\u0101. Autobusa vad\u012bt\u0101js br\u012bd\u012b, kad vi\u0146a iet gar\u0101m, pie sevis nosaka: \u201cNudien, negl\u012bt\u0101kais b\u0113rns, k\u0101du es jebkad esmu redz\u0113jis!\u201d Sieviete, man\u0101mi sa\u0161utusi un aizvainota, aps\u0113\u017eas un s\u016bdzas pret\u012b s\u0113do\u0161ajam v\u012brietim: \u201cAutobusa vad\u012bt\u0101js manu mazuli nupat apvainoja!\u201d V\u012brietis atbild: \u201cTas nav attaisnojams! Aizejiet pie vi\u0146a un pasakiet, ko par vi\u0146u dom\u0101jat. Ejiet, ejiet t\u016bl\u012bt pat! Es tikm\u0113r to mazo m\u0113rka\u0137i patur\u0113\u0161u.\u201d
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\nM\u0101te izdom\u0101, ka savai meitai desmit gadu dzim\u0161anas dien\u0101 grib uzd\u0101vin\u0101t kaut ko praktisku, un, pa\u0146\u0113musi meitu l\u012bdzi, aiziet vi\u0146ai atv\u0113rt pirmo bankas kontu. Kad abas ieradu\u0161\u0101s bank\u0101, m\u0101te saka: \u201cTas b\u016bs tavs konts, un tagad tu jau esi liela meitene, t\u0101d\u0113\u013c gribu, lai iesniegumu m\u0113\u0123ini aizpild\u012bt pati.\u201d Meitai ar to veicas pavisam labi, l\u012bdz vi\u0146a nok\u013c\u016bst pie ailes \u201cJ\u016bsu iepriek\u0161\u0113j\u0101 banka\u201d. Br\u012bdi padom\u0101jusi, meita tur ieraksta: \u201cC\u016bci\u0146a\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kad NASA s\u0101ka astronautus s\u016bt\u012bt kosmos\u0101, dr\u012bz vien atkl\u0101j\u0101s, ka parast\u0101s pildspalvas bezsvara st\u0101vokl\u012b neraksta. Lai p\u0101rvar\u0113tu probl\u0113mu, NASA nol\u012bga zin\u0101tnieku un in\u017eenieru komandu, kas desmit gados rad\u012bja pildspalvu, kas raksta bezsvara telp\u0101 uz jebkuras virsmas, ieskaitot stiklu, un gandr\u012bz jebkur\u0101 temperat\u016br\u0101, l\u012bdz pat 300 gr\u0101du karstumam. Krievija taj\u0101 pa\u0161\u0101 laik\u0101 ar probl\u0113mu c\u012bn\u012bj\u0101s cit\u0101di: iedodot astronautiem l\u012bdzi z\u012bmu\u013cus.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5243"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5243"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5243\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5436,"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5243\/revisions\/5436"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5243"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5243"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5243"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}