{"id":4894,"date":"2014-12-02T15:40:33","date_gmt":"2014-12-02T13:40:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/?p=4894"},"modified":"2014-12-04T15:42:50","modified_gmt":"2014-12-04T13:42:50","slug":"anektodes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/?p=4894","title":{"rendered":"Anektodes"},"content":{"rendered":"

T\u0113vs p\u0101rmeto\u0161i d\u0113lam: \u201cD\u0113ls, tav\u0101 vecum\u0101 Vinstons \u010c\u0113r\u010dils katru dienu jau pulksten piecos no r\u012bta bija devies sav\u0101 r\u012bta pastaig\u0101.\u201d
\nD\u0113ls atbild: \u201cJ\u0101, t\u0113t, un tav\u0101 vecum\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 jau sen bija Anglijas premjerministrs.\u201d
\n<\/p>\n

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\nLabs jurists paz\u012bst likumu. \u013boti labs jurists paz\u012bst tiesnesi.<\/p>\n

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\nHelikopters miglain\u0101 dien\u0101 ar diviem pilotiem lido virs Sietlas, kad p\u0113k\u0161\u0146i helikoptera navig\u0101cijas un sakaru sist\u0113mas ekr\u0101ns izdziest. M\u0101ko\u0146u un miglas d\u0113\u013c piloti nesp\u0113j noteikt savu atra\u0161an\u0101s vietu, kur nu v\u0113l atrast laukumu, lai nos\u0113stos. Gal\u0113j\u0101 izmisum\u0101 viens no pilotiem \u0101tri uzmeistaro ar roku rakst\u012btu plak\u0101tu: \u201cKUR ES ESMU?\u201d Tur\u0113dami \u0161o plak\u0101tu pie helikoptera logiem, vi\u0146i pielido pie k\u0101das augstceltnes aug\u0161\u0113jiem st\u0101viem. P\u0113c k\u0101da laika vi\u0146i pamana augstceltnes birojos ros\u012bbu, un dr\u012bz vien pa augstceltnes logiem tiek izb\u0101zts \u0101r\u0101 plak\u0101ts, uz kura rakst\u012bts: \u201cTu esi helikopter\u0101!\u201d Pirmais pilots uzvaro\u0161i pasmaida, iel\u016bkojas kart\u0113, nosaka kursu un s\u0101k p\u0101rliecino\u0161i vad\u012bt lidapar\u0101tu, lai p\u0113c pusstundas veiksm\u012bgi nos\u0113stos tur, kur bija paredz\u0113ts. Otrs pilots, nesp\u0113dams apvald\u012bt zi\u0146k\u0101ri, jaut\u0101:
\n\u201cKlau, bet k\u0101 tu no t\u0101 bezj\u0113dz\u012bg\u0101 plak\u0101ta saprati, kur m\u0113s esam?\u201d
\n\u201cEs zin\u0101ju, ka mums j\u0101b\u016bt pie \u201cMicrosoft\u201d \u0113kas, jo tikai vi\u0146i dod tik tehniski pareizus, bet vis\u0101d\u0101 cit\u0101d\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101 nekam neder\u012bgus padomus.\u201d<\/p>\n

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\nK\u0101das firmas izpilddirektora sieva nolemj savam v\u012bram sag\u0101d\u0101t p\u0101rsteigumu un pusdienlaik\u0101 ierodas vi\u0146a biroj\u0101. Kad sieva atver durvis, vi\u0146a ierauga v\u012bru s\u0113\u017eam kr\u0113sl\u0101 ar sekret\u0101ri kl\u0113p\u012b. Izpilddirektors, sievu ieraudz\u012bjis, ne aci nepamirk\u0161\u0137ina un dikt\u0113 sekret\u0101rei: \u201cUn nosl\u0113gum\u0101, kungi, bud\u017eeta apgrie\u0161ana vai ne, bet es nevaru turpin\u0101t str\u0101d\u0101t biroj\u0101, kur\u0101 ir tikai viens kr\u0113sls.\u201d<\/p>\n

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\nK\u0101d\u0101 slimn\u012bc\u0101 jau vair\u0101kus gadus p\u0113c k\u0101rtas vien\u0101 un taj\u0101 pa\u0161\u0101 reanim\u0101cijas pal\u0101t\u0101 vien\u0101 un taj\u0101 pa\u0161\u0101 laik\u0101, sestdien\u0101 pulksten 11 no r\u012bta, k\u0101ds pacients nomirst neatkar\u012bgi no vesel\u012bbas st\u0101vok\u013ca. Ar laiku nemiers aug un p\u0101r\u0146em visu slimn\u012bcu, m\u0101si\u0146as s\u0101k baid\u012bties pal\u0101t\u0101 ieiet, un \u0101rsti s\u0101k apsv\u0113rt p\u0101rdabisku sp\u0113ku kl\u0101tb\u016btni. P\u0113c k\u0101da \u012bpa\u0161i jauna pacienta n\u0101ves, kura st\u0101voklis \u0161\u0137ita krasi uzlabojamies, slimn\u012bcas vad\u012bba un \u0101rsti izlemj, ka tam j\u0101dara gals. Kad tiek ievietots n\u0101kamais pacients un pien\u0101k sestdiena, visa slimn\u012bcas vad\u012bba un vado\u0161ie \u0101rsti bez piec\u0101m min\u016bt\u0113m vienpadsmitos sapulc\u0113jas vi\u0146a pal\u0101t\u0101. Gais\u0101 valda spriedze, slimn\u012bcas direktors s\u0101k apsv\u0113rt, ka varb\u016bt vajadz\u0113ja ataicin\u0101t k\u0101du m\u0101c\u012bt\u0101ju vai \u013cauno garu izdzin\u0113ju. Prec\u012bzi pulksten vienpadsmitos ien\u0101k sestdienas mai\u0146as apkop\u0113js Ludis, izrauj no kontakta sk\u0101bek\u013ca maskas apar\u0101ta kontaktu, lai pievienotu str\u0101vai savu putek\u013cus\u016bc\u0113ju.<\/p>\n

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\nBlond\u012bne darb\u0101 ierodas noraud\u0101jusies, izsm\u0113r\u0113tu kosm\u0113tiku un tr\u012bco\u0161\u0101m rok\u0101m. Vi\u0146as priek\u0161nieks jaut\u0101, kas par lietu. Blond\u012bne atbild: \u201cMana tante nomira!\u201d Priek\u0161nieks izsaka l\u012bdzj\u016bt\u012bbu, pied\u0101v\u0101 doties m\u0101j\u0101s, bet vi\u0146a atsaka. Dienas laik\u0101 blond\u012bne nomierin\u0101s, bet p\u0113c pusdienlaika ien\u0101k biroj\u0101 t\u0101d\u0101 pa\u0161\u0101 st\u0101vokl\u012b k\u0101 no r\u012bta, ja ne v\u0113l \u013caun\u0101k. Priek\u0161nieks, nedaudz aizkaitin\u0101ts, prasa, kas tagad par vainu. Blond\u012bne atbild: \u201cEs nupat piezvan\u012bju savai m\u0101sai \u2013 un ar\u012b vi\u0146as tante ir nomirusi!\u201d<\/p>\n

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\n\u010cetri topo\u0161ie t\u0113vi nepaciet\u012bgi m\u012b\u0146\u0101jas pie dzemd\u012bbu z\u0101les durv\u012bm. No z\u0101les izn\u0101k m\u0101si\u0146a un saka pirmajam v\u012brietim:
\n\u201cApsveicu, jums ir dv\u012b\u0146i!\u201d
\nV\u012brietis, nedaudz apjucis un p\u0101rsteigts, izsaucas:
\n\u201cK\u0101da sagad\u012b\u0161an\u0101s, es str\u0101d\u0101ju juvelierveikal\u0101 \u201cDivi gredzeni\u201d!\u201d
\nP\u0113c p\u0101ris min\u016bt\u0113m izn\u0101k \u0101r\u0101 cita m\u0101si\u0146a un saka otrajam v\u012brietim:
\n\u201cApsveicu, jums ir tr\u012bn\u012b\u0161i!\u201d
\nV\u012brietis, v\u0113l p\u0101rsteigt\u0101ks, izsaucas:
\n\u201cNudien br\u012bnums, es str\u0101d\u0101ju karnev\u0101lu t\u0113rpu veikal\u0101 \u201cTr\u012bs musketieri\u201d!\u201d
\nP\u0113c piec\u0101m min\u016bt\u0113m cita m\u0101si\u0146a izn\u0101k no z\u0101les un pazi\u0146o tre\u0161ajam v\u012brietim:
\n\u201cApsveicu, jums ir \u010detr\u012b\u0161i!\u201d
\nV\u012brietis, nesp\u0113dams notic\u0113t, iesaucas:
\n\u201cCit\u0101di nevar b\u016bt, es str\u0101d\u0101ju restor\u0101n\u0101 \u201c\u010cetras sezonas\u201d!\u201d
\nVisi paskat\u0101s uz ceturto v\u012brieti, kur\u0161 b\u0101ls k\u0101 n\u0101ve vairs pat nep\u016blas noslauc\u012bt bai\u013cu sviedrus no pieres. \u201cEs zin\u0101ju, ka nevajadz\u0113ja pie\u0146emt to darba pied\u0101v\u0101jumu no \u201cSimts un viena ce\u013cojuma\u201d!\u201d<\/p>\n

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\n\u0100rsts un jurists sarun\u0101jas savies\u012bg\u0101 pas\u0101kum\u0101. Vi\u0146u sarunu nebeidzami p\u0101rtrauc citi viesi, aprakst\u012bdami \u0101rstam savas kaites un l\u016bgdami padomu. P\u0113c stundas \u0101rsts vairs nevar iztur\u0113t un prasa juristam:
\n\u201cKo tu t\u0101du dari, ka tev neviens neprasa padomu, kurpret\u012b es no cilv\u0113kiem nevaru ne atkauties?\u201d
\n\u201cEs cilv\u0113kiem dodu padomu un tad v\u0113l\u0101k nos\u016btu vi\u0146iem r\u0113\u0137inu,\u201d atbild jurists. \u201cIesaku tev pam\u0113\u0123in\u0101t.\u201d
\n\u0100rsts ir satriekts par tik ne\u017e\u0113l\u012bgu metodi, bet piekr\u012bt pam\u0113\u0123in\u0101t. N\u0101kamaj\u0101 dien\u0101, pabeidzis rakst\u012bt r\u0113\u0137inus visiem, ar kuriem vakar vies\u012bb\u0101s run\u0101jies, \u0101rsts dodas uz pastu tos nos\u016bt\u012bt. Past\u0101 vi\u0146am izsniedz\u2026 r\u0113\u0137inu no jurista.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

T\u0113vs p\u0101rmeto\u0161i d\u0113lam: \u201cD\u0113ls, tav\u0101 vecum\u0101 Vinstons \u010c\u0113r\u010dils katru dienu jau pulksten piecos no r\u012bta bija devies sav\u0101 r\u012bta pastaig\u0101.\u201d
\nD\u0113ls atbild: \u201cJ\u0101, t\u0113t, un tav\u0101 vecum\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161 jau sen bija Anglijas premjerministrs.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4894"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4894"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4894\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5165,"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4894\/revisions\/5165"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4894"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4894"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/zurnalsiepirkumi.lv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4894"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}